learn

The beginning of the beginning

I’ve been waiting for this day since December (and that’s because I’m embarrassed to admit it was really November). When I moved to New York in August, I swore I wouldn’t stress about my future until then. I committed to enjoying the here and now that I’d waited for and worked toward since high school for at least a couple months while the rest was completely out of my control. Then, in November, I started looking for work…way-too-soon. WAY too soon. Some would say I’m a control freak, but responsible or ambitious are far more attractive ways of describing it.

I’m impatient; I need to know where I’m supposed to be and what I’m going to do, but this isn’t the industry to feed that need. I applied to every opening I am qualified for on Ed2010, media bistro, Time Warner, Hearst and Conde Nast websites–and have never heard back…from anyone. That’s not true–I’ve received automatically generated confirmation’s that my resume was received. And nothing ever since. So the people held hostage by my worrying and over-analyzing tend to comfort or appease me by saying not to worry because no one’s hiring at the end of the year. Coupled with that common reassurance are directions to wait until everyone’s back at work “on January 4th.”

As a result of this long-term build-up, the past two months of hopeful (just short of desperate) anticipation led to moment-by-moment phone checking and consistent reloading of email all day. Today was also the soonest I could get an appointment at the Apple store after encountering delays in building this website. To my weary disappointment today went like each of the days before have gone. I corresponded with landlords, went to my appointment, and searched for more apartments and job openings should the ones found in the two month build-up not work out. I realized by 5 p.m. I would not have any more luck on this work day, but that it would at the very least be one day closer to the day that my next employer finds time to contact job candidates. On that day, I will be ready, phone-in-hand, email relentlessly uploading.

To fill the time I built the site finally. I still need to fill the photo albums with pictures locked in my old hard drive, which is on it’s way to my favorite computer guy, and I need to add some clips from the Babbler, another victim of a crashed hard drive. But for now, I have a site. I should also note I tried cod as part of Lauren and I’s joint effort to get me eating more fish. I am proud to say I loved it, and I loved brussels sprout too–who knew? These newfound likes can be blamed on Lauren’s amazing cooking, which I aspire too. (But seriously, one to three aspirations at a time) She’s starting a food blog soon, to which I’ll have to post a link!

I realized I’m reaching that rambling moment I always reach on the phone with ex-boyfriend when I’m no longer making valuable use of my listener’s time. My own website and a new fish to eat–that’s what January 4th brought. I’m looking at two apartments tomorrow and maybe January 5th will bring a place of my own.

32 resumes sent, 5 upcoming apartment viewings. Fingers crossed.

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